Saturday, May 17, 2008

Day One

Alrighty then boys and girls. It is time for another version of the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game...errr...Challenge. The rules are listed in the files section at the Yahoo Group TS2Challenges. As with many of the blogs/challenges I do for the Sims 2, there is a twist to this one. The twist is, the contestants of this Bachelor Game all like to sneak in song lyrics in their speech. Keep a peice of paper by your computer as you read this, and see how many of them you can guess. To make it easier, each time one of the contestants utter a song lyric, it will be in green print. At the end of each blog entry for this challenge will be the answers. Sometimes the title of the song is right in the verbage the Sim uses.

Warning, most of the songs I used are form the '70's and '80's. So if you are over 40, you shouldn't have trouble with this. Some of the songs are from the 50's. Heh. Good luck!

Our first bachelorette is Lynn, who hails from the Lone Star State. Lynn enjoys playing softball,
taking care of her fish tank, letting her dogs out the back door to do....ahhhhh....doggie things. Let's hear it for Lynn everybody!

Lynn: Hi ya. Apparently I like to play chess too. *sarcasm*

Narrator: Lynn, what brings you to the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game?

Lynn: When the working day is done, oh, girls, they wanna have fun. (1) You can only only hit so many home runs in softball. I hope to hit a different kind of home run here. *wiggles eyebrows*

Narrator: Lynn, here are your stats. *hushed voice* the producers of the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game used the scientific method of' number choosing' by way of the 15 yr old daughter of ASimWen in choosing stats for the contestants except for the Bachelor. Lynn, you are a RomanceSim, a Virgo at that. You like guys who are great cooks, have a little extra body hair and a snarl when they change into a werewolf every night. Your turn off is, well, you want your guys to be dumbern' logic at all. Good luck!

Lynn: Thanks. I am looking forward to a good time.

Narrator: The next Bachelorette is Infinity Nevermore. Infinity enjoys errr..playing chess...heh....riding bicycles, and picking daiseys. Hello Infinity!

Infinity: Hi everybody. I am glad to be here.

Narrator: Infinity, here are your stats. You are a Family Sim, a Gemini. You like guys who have that 'special' odor about them, and tend to wear a little eyeliner. You just have to hope they don't have red hair!

Infinity: Yeah, red hair is a deal breaker for me.

Narrator: Infinity, why did you want to appear on the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game?

Infinity: Well, my biological clock is ticking. I want 10 kids. Need a sperm doner.

*blinks rapidly* 10 kids? Well.....good luck! Perhaps the lucky Bachelor here will have plenty of sperm on deposit for you!

Narrator: Our next contestant is Rachel. Hi Rachel!

Rachel: Hey narrator, you sound pretty good. Would you like to be a guest on my podcast?

Narrator: You are so kind. Thank you Rachel, but no. I have a great job with the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game. They keep me busy here.

Rachel: Awwe, that's too bad!

Narrator: Rachel, here are your stats. You are fashionably Knowledgable, and are of the zodiac sign Cancer. You like your guys to have that special little something when it comes to a nibble on the neck, and boy do you LOVE it when they work hard at it.

Rachel: Yeah, vamps are soooo dreamy! *contented sigh*

Narrator: Uh, yeah. But the whole thing flies out the window if your man has gray hair.

Rachel: Yes, his hair needs to be any color but gray.

Narrator: Well Rachel, good luck with the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game!

Rachel: Thank you Narrator!

Narrator: Our next Bachelorette is Ruby. Ruby likes pinĂ£ coladas, and gettin' caught in the rain. She's not much into health foods, she is into champagne. (2) I must say Ruby, you look hawt in that dress.

Ruby: Thank you Narrator. It is a curse to be this beautiful.

Narrator: EEhhhh yeah. Tell me Ruby, why did you want to appear on the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game?

Ruby: Well Mr. Narrator, I have a special guy in mind. Ya know. I heard rumors that he might be the Bachelor here. I will do anything to woo-hoo with him.

Narrator: Sounds like you are takin' a chance.

Ruby: You betcha. He is sooo worth it.

Narrator: Ruby, here are your stats. You are a beautiful Romance Sim, a Virgo. You like guys who are charismatic, and do unusual things with their hair. But you can't stand it if they have that nasty little werewolf gene.

Ruby: Yah, I like nice hair, but it is gross when it is all over their body. My special guy doesn't have all that.

Narrator: I hear ya Ruby. Good luck with the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game!

Narrator: Our next Bachelorette is ASimWen. ASimWen likes to take long walks, grow sunflowers, and watch Dancing With The Stars on television. She hopes someday to retire in her golden years with the man of her dreams.

ASimWen: Gawd! I sound boring!

Narrator: Errr...that is what you wrote on your contest entry form, ASimWen.

ASimWen: I didn't know that I would have such heavy competition. Can I fill out a new card?

Narrator: 'Fraid not, Wen. Yer stuck with this. Here are your stats: You are a quiet Family Sim, a Scorpio. You love guys with grey hair, but they have to cover it up with a hat. You really would rather you man not sit around in his underware whilst watching TV.

ASimWen: Yeah, that is really too familiar for me. My mom might decide to make a surprise visit or something.

Narrator: Well, ASimWen, welcome to the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game. Good luck!

Narrator: Our next Bachelorette is Hana, also known as Holly. Holly, I hear that in Real Life, you aren't grown up yet.

Hana-Holly: That's right. My mom made a Sim me and grew me up for the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game.

Narrator: How do you feel about that?

Hana-Holly: Okay, I guess. I would rather be IM'ing my friends on the Internet than doing this dumb game. But I gotta do what mom says.

Narrator: ERrrr..okay. Holly, here are your stats. You are the third Romance Sim in this house, and you are a Gemini. You love a guy who is in shape, and can paint a mean picture. But you despise it if they can turn into a bat and fly away.

Hana-Holly: Yeah, I like to be able to have faith in my guys that they will stick around a while. Pfft.

Narrator: Great. I see where you are comin' from. Well Holly, good luck with the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game!

Hana-Holly: Yeah, whatever. *rolls eyes*

Narrator: Our seventh and final Bachelorette is Random Sim. So Random, that is a mighty unusal name.

Random: I am a random sim, I come from the land of CAS.

Narrator: Why Random, you look very pretty to be random!

Random: Well, I was given new hair and clothes. Ya know CAS tends to put things on a Sim that doesn't match and stuff.

Narrator: How true! Random, here are your random stats. You are the only Popularity Sim in the Bachelor/Bachelorette house. You also love a guy who is in shape, but you love him to have that 'just worked out' smell. But you don't want him to work too hard at it. You want time for fun stuff.

Random: That's right. I can just picture myself burying my nose in his sweaty armpits. MMmmm! Heavenly!

Narrator: Uh yeah. Well, good luck with the game, Random!

Narrator: Now it is time to introduce you all to the main event. Our Bachelor of the House. Everyone, put your hands together FOR.............

Here is the most notorious bachelor of Prosperity Falls, XUAN ROBBINS!!! (wild cheering)

Xuan: Uh, I am not a bachelor in Prosperity Falls. But for this game, I am single again, back on the prowl. I thought It was perfect. I don't know how...... (3)

Narrator: Xuan, you are always on the prowl in the Falls. What is "It" that you mentioned just now?

Xuan: It is a one eyed, one horned, flyin' purple people eater. (4)

Narrator: Uh, yeah. *scratches head* Anyway, let's get started with the Bachelor/Bachelorette Game. For this episode, we are using a bachelor and 7 beautiful women. The object of the game is for Xuan, here, to choose the gal he best fits with. The winner at the end of the game, that is, at the end of 7 days, gets to marry him.

Xuan: Aww! You gotta be kiddin' me! I just wanna woo-hoo!

Narrator: Oh yes. Your stats Xuan are this: You are a Romance Sim, and turned on by your women wearing bathing suits and makeup. Your turn off is....hmmm...Xuan, you didn't fill that part out on your entry card.

Xuan: Heh. That is because I love everything about women. Mr Narrator, have you ever really loved a woman? To understand her you gotta know her deep inside, hear every thought, see every dream, and give her wings when she wants to fly. (5)

Narrator: Can't say that I have done all that.

Xuan: Hurmph. Let's get this show on the road, Mr. Narrator. I will show you how it is done.

Narrator: Alrighty then. On with the game! Now, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! (6)

DAY ONE - Meet and greet

Narrator: Here we are in the desert of Other Challenges. Looks like all the contestants have gathered in front of the Bachelor Mansion. The grand prize winner of the Bachelor Game will get to live in this house with Xuan.

Xuan has chosen to hang out with Inifinity Nevermore right off the bat.

Infinity: Yeah, I caught his eye first. Go me!

Narrator: It looks like Rachel is ignoring all the conversation and going inside the house.

Rachel: They are such children. I will show Xuan that beauty mixed with brains and maturity is the way to go.

Random: Abra-abra-cadabra I want to reach out and grab ya! (7)

Rachel reading the paper... "Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide, foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz, hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore..." (8) I think I'll put the paper down and go eat. There is too much bad news out there....

ASimWen: Oh Rachel...that is awful....

Rachel: My goodness dearies, you don't know the half of it... The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew the Minnow would be lost! (9)

Ruby: I wouldn't be too upset Rachel. After all, there's that story 'bout a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer, just barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin at some food, And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude! (10) Everything turned out fine for him, just as I am sure it will for the Minnow!

Xuan: So Hana-Holly, tell me a little about yourself.

Hana-Holly: Well, I don't like spiders and snakes, and that ain't what it takes to love me. (11)

Infinity: So Rachel, what do you think about Xuan? Isn't he a hunk?

Rachel: Dream on, Dream on, Dream on until your dreams come true (12) Infinity. You will be dreaming forever. Xuan is a Romance Sim, and you are a Family Sim. You might as well forget it.

Lynn: So Ruby, do you like it here so far?

Ruby: I haven't had much of a chance to talk to Xuan. He has been spending most of his time with Hana-Holly. You would think he would want me, me being so beautiful and a Romance Sim like him.

Lynn: Hana-Holly is a Romance Sim too, don't forget.

Ruby: I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can't bring me down! (13) You are so mean Lynn, for saying that! I am going to win! You wait and see!

Xuan: Hana-Holly, you sure know how to toss the pigskin!

Hana-Holly: Oh Xuan! I blew out my flip flop, stepped on a pop top, cut my heel. (14) We better cruise on back home!

Narrator: Well, the first day is nearly over at the Bachelor Mansion. A few of the residents gather in the dining room 'round the bar....Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but its better than drinkin' alone. (15)

Xuan: Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots and ruined your black tie affair.

ASimWen: The last one to know, the last one to show, I was the last one you thought you'd see there.

Random: And I saw a surprise and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champange,

Xuan: I toasted you said honey we may be through but you'll never hear me complain,


All three: 'Cause I got friends in low places,

Where the Whiskey drowns,
And the Beer chases my blues away,
But I'll be okay,
Now I'm not big on social graces,
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis,
Oh I got friends,
In low places! (16)

Random: *BURP*! TeeHee!

ASimWen: *slightly slurred speech* So Xuan...hummm..honey.....ya know....I am a pretty good kisser....

Xuan: Heh. Oh you are, are you? *hicckup* Well now baby, I just might hafta...*hic* check that out.... *burp*

Random: Hey....let's sing another about Beer For My Horses???

Lynn: How about the Bathroom Jig???? GAWD Infinity!

Infinity: There is more than one bathroom in this mansion, ya know. Go find one!

Narrator: And this is where we leave the contestants to retire after their first day in the Bachelor Mansion. Singing drinking songs and doing the Bathroom Jig. It appears they have gotten more than personal with each other! But who will have the lowest relationship score with Xaun at noon on day two? Stay tuned to see!

How many could you recognize?

1. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper, 1983
2. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes, 1979
3. Single Again - Trina, 2008 (I think, not my kind of music)
4. Purple People Eater - Sheb Wooley, 1958
5. Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman - Bryan Adams, 1995
6. That's Entertainment - Judy Garland, 1960
7. Abra-Abra-Cadabra - Steve Miller Band, 1982
8. We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel, 1989
9. Gilligan's Island Theme Song
10. Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song
11. Spiders And Snakes - Jim Stafford, 1974
12. Dream On - Aerosmith, 1973
13. Beatiful - Christne Agulera, 2006
14. Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffet, 1977
15. Piano Man - Billy Joel, 1974
16. Friends In Low Places - Garth Brooks, 1990

Stay tuned for day two in the wacky lives of these Bachelor Contestants!


Bubbs said...

Oh Lordy! I'm a romance sim! Woot! A virgo? Hmm, my leo self isn't too sure about that..haha! Oh my, I like them dumb...*snicker*

Infinity wants a sperm donor? Oh man, that cuts right to the chase, huh?

Rachel wants someone to nibble on her neck? Hmmm....that might not work out too well here.

Ruby is a STALKER!! She is here STALKING XUAN!! RUN XUAN RUN!!

Wen is family? That just isn't right! She knows Xuan! BOOT HER NOW!!

Hana-Holly? Hmmm, I hope the deck isn't stacked in her favor or anything....being her mom knows Xuan.

Random? She only wants to make friends?? We'll see about that.

Ruby is really a stalker! All she does is want to talk to Xuan...boot her now!

What is Wen doing talking about how good kisser she is? Hmmph!

Infinity-Nevermore said...

LOL!!! Wow, special odor and eyeliner? That's...different. *g* Well, why not just cut to the chase? Give me your DNA and let me get out of here, lol.
So we're all fighting over Xuan? This ought to be entertaining.
Wen! You'll get your heart as hurt as I would getting involved with him! I'm throwing my bets on Hana-Holly for now. Now let's see if I was right.

Kerry said...

That was fun! I pretty much got all the songs before about 1995 and none after, though. Ruby may be a stalker, but she isn't doing all that well yet--I guess we shall see!

ruby said...

Oh look its Lynn! Hi Lynn!! She doesnt look too pleased playing chess *snickers*
OMG Fini ... could you be a bit more subtle? A donar? *bwahahahah!*
Rachel ya look good.. and yes vamps are very dreamy!
Egads look at that face! *falls over laughing* I do not look pleased at all ... sheesh! What? Wait .. oh it can only be one man for me to react like 'that'..
I was playing catch with Wen? Ooo she must have thrown the ball 'at' me .. meanie Wen! oh wait.. scorpio.. that says it all *nods*
Hana-Holly is a cutie.. I'll have to eliminate her soon.. I mean.. erm.. help her find the door..
Random... she's cute.. but she has to go .. if the bachelor is who i think it is .. all of the competion needs to go!
*squeals* Yes!! YES YES YES! I love Xuan!! *swoons*
Hmmm I didnt do so well day one.. *gasp* say it aint so! I hope i'm not gone first.. dagnabit..
Wen i love the idea of the songs.. I even recognized most of them. only ones i missed are #3, #11, & #13

Twoyys4me said...

LOL.. this is hilarious Wen.. must've taken some time as well to sort out all the songs... great job, Xuan looks as 'hawt' as ever. Love the chosen Bachelorettes. :)

Rachel said...

I loved the first chapter! Sim Rachel seems very me except for that outfit, but I'll let that go. Thanks for the podcast plug, that rocks! I love to watch what Simselves will do, this should be interesting.

Caleb said...

I couldnt stop laughing at all the songs that you managed to fit in.